Transformation

I’m not going to finish my 50,000 words for NaNoWriMo this month.

At first I was disappointed in myself, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I accomplished what I needed to accomplish during this NaNoWriMo month.

I realized I have more determination than I thought I had.  I am going to finish this novel, not because I’m going to complete it during the artificial confines of NaNoWriMo, but rather because I finally came to understand that my writing is meaningful, and I am worth finishing what I have begun.  Understanding this has made me determined to birth my ideas into the world instead of just leaving them tucked away to disintegrate in a far corner of my soul.

I realized I could sit myself down and write every day even when I didn’t feel like it.  Instead of accepting my constant excuses for not writing, I just sat down and wrote.  And after all, that is what writers do isn’t it?

I realized that I can choose my writing my life.  I decided yesterday, nay, I chose yesterday, not to spend my holiday weekend cloistered away from my family in order to meet my 50,000 words.  I chose them over my writing, and because I consciously chose, I didn’t feel guilty about my decision.  As you can see, I have also chosen to write.  I finally learned that these choices do not have to be mutually exclusive binaries.

I realized that I can realistically sustain writing approximately 1,000 words per day.

And you know what else I realized?  If I write approximately 1,000 words per day, I will be able to write, in one year, three novel-length manuscripts, three academic articles, and three blog posts per week, with thousands of words to spare.

I’m thankful for NaNoWriMo 2014, because through it I learned that I am a writer.  I never believed that before.  But now I do, and I believe that will make a world of difference.

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