Honestly, I wasn’t expecting you.  I’ve lost other loved ones, and after the initial sadness and sense of loss, I didn’t really have any grief to deal with.  Maybe I’m cold and callous.

So I expected it to be the same this time.  But it’s not.  My grandmother passed right before Thanksgiving.  I was more worried about my family than I was about myself.  As always, I had the immediate onset of mourning, and then it went away.  But it came back.  I’m not devastated.  I’m not immobilized.  I am, however, sad.

I cried at work the other day.  I was surprised, but my colleague wasn’t.  She pointed out that I hadn’t cried at all when it happened.  She was right.  I was due, she said.  Right she was again.

But I’m still surprised.

Waiting to see what the next wave brings,

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