Honestly, I wasn’t expecting you. I’ve lost other loved ones, and after the initial sadness and sense of loss, I didn’t really have any grief to deal with. Maybe I’m cold and callous.
So I expected it to be the same this time. But it’s not. My grandmother passed right before Thanksgiving. I was more worried about my family than I was about myself. As always, I had the immediate onset of mourning, and then it went away. But it came back. I’m not devastated. I’m not immobilized. I am, however, sad.
I cried at work the other day. I was surprised, but my colleague wasn’t. She pointed out that I hadn’t cried at all when it happened. She was right. I was due, she said. Right she was again.
But I’m still surprised.
Waiting to see what the next wave brings,