I’m not ambitious, but apparently I was on May 8, 2015, when I not only wrote but had the audacity to post a list of things I want to accomplish by the time I finish being 50. The list appears to be entirely unedited and uncontextualized. I think I must have copied it from my journal and pasted it right into my blog post. There’s no way a general audience (albeit fabulous!) could understand my thinking for many items on the list. Without the benefit (or curse as it were) of living in my head, the list only makes partial sense, at best.
Perhaps I was experiencing a bout of mania at the time. I don’t say that to make light of people living with bipolar or any other condition. I’m saying that as someone who sometimes swings between highs and lows and often finds evidence of those mercurial moods in my writing. That’s the only good explanation I can come up with for that list and its publication.
Well, that’s not exactly true. Maybe that list was divinely inspired. Chris sends out quotes and inspirational emails a fews times per week, and he once sent a quote from Bruce Lee:“A goal is not always meant to be reached. It often serves simply as something to aim at.” That resonated with me. Sometimes we are to try for things, and although we may not reach them, the journey itself will be an enduring education.
So I suppose I’ll try for all of the things on the list that still hold meaning for me. I’ve changed in many ways since May 2015, but I’m still motivated by much of the list. I won’t reach any of the list items if I don’t try and keep on trying, though. And that’s where I typically fall short – the keep on trying part. So it’s time to cultivate discipline, which moves people from trying to achieving.