Dear People Responsible for the Sharknado Franchise,

First of all, I love your work.  Thank you for bringing to the world sharks flying around in tornadoes.  I love all things shark, and the Sharknado films were no exception.

So, I would like to pitch an idea to you; I call it Crocano.  The premise is some people go on holiday to an active volcano, some just to view and others to risk bungee jumping into its fiery depths (which I hear is a thing that people actually do).  The volcano erupts, and out spews not just lava, but also crocodiles.

The backstory of the film would be an ancient subterranean crocodilian species that over millennia has adapted to life in the magma.  Unbeknownst to scientists, these behemoths dwell underneath us, undisturbed, until repeated fracking disrupts the earth enough to set off a series of unprecedented earthquakes and volcanic eruptions.  These seismic disturbances unleash the crocodilians into our realm, creating what becomes known as the Crocano Effect.

I’m happy to share the rest of my idea with you.  Please contact me if you’re interested.

I’m looking forward to more outlandish animal + weather cinematic magic.

Sincerely,