In a little less than a month I will have completed my journey to blog and journal daily. As I approach this particular finish line and reflect on the journey, I’m pondering the many lessons I’ve learned a long they way. And one of the greatest ones is honesty.
I am more honest in my writing – publicly, personally, and privately. Sure, I craft and curate what I put out there for you to read, but I’ve also allowed more vulnerability and more glimpses at what I actually feel and think. I now allow myself to write with much less censure, even in work that I don’t imagine anyone will ever read. I’m really not a good fiction writer; I’m an essayist at heart (or at least at pen), I think. Nevertheless, I’ve written some fiction over the past year, and I’ve not censored what I imagined and wrote, even when I found it unsettling (look at me curating myself – “unsettling” certainly was not the first or even fifth word that came to mind, but I’ll press on). I also write more honestly in my journal. I often feel and think things that I don’t think should have a place in my life, but I’ve learned that for them not to strangle me, I must write them down. My journaling is a lot more raw and, let’s face it, ugly, than it used to be, but it’s also more liberating and restorative.
God has known what has been inside of me all along, and it took this journey for me to plumb the depths. I have a long way to go before I discover more of what God has planted in me, but I’m much more comfortable with what I have discovered, I’m more honest with what I think and feel, and I’m excited to continue on the journey.