Dear People Who Work with Crocodiles,
I’ll start off by saying, “Wow.” You all love your danger, don’t you? I appreciate the risks you take, just so I can know things like the bite force of crocodiles and how crocodiles could become even bigger and scarier if they only would prolong their adolescences. I’m happy to learn these tidbits, so thank you.
What I don’t understand, however, are the tools you use. Each show I watch, I find that your major tools for handling crocodiles are sticks (sometimes cleverly disguised as broom handles), PVC pipe, rope, blocks of wood, towels, electrical tape, and lots and lots of duct tape. It worries me, honestly.
Sure, on the one hand I’m fascinated and oddly empowered to think that I too could become a crocodile cowboy and wrangle these wild, writhing, prehistoric beasts with tools I already have in my own home. How fun and convenient.
On the other hand, though, doesn’t that seem a little unsafe to you – you know – to handle crocodiles with household items? I love how green you are and how you repurpose items. I admire your self-sufficiency in making the tools you need out of what you have. But I worry. Are you safe?
I also wonder about your funding. You can get the money to take an entire crew out to the swamps to locate and research crocodiles. I further assume your funding covers at least partial travel costs and some meals. I also imagine your funding is inadequate to cover all of your costs and you must make difficult decisions, such as determining if you can take another crew member or if you have adequate equipment. I suppose I’m concerned you’re risking your safety more than is necessary by relying so heavily on duct tape.
Then again, duct tape can fix anything.
Well, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
Carry on crocodile cowboys, carry on, but be careful out there.