If Only I Had Known

I’ve been compiling a mental list of things they never told me about getting older.  Who are they you ask, as you’re confused by my use of a pronoun without a referent?  Well, you know they.  They are ubiquitous.  In this case, they are the women I wish would have told me some of these things.  Or maybe they did tell me, but I was too young to listen.

Chins
While you may have only had one chin in your early adulthood, you may find your chin expanding into a weird double appendage that is part chin, part neck.  When this extra flesh is in its early onset and more manageable, you’ll find yourself jutting your chin and face forward while taking pictures, in an effort to look like you only have one chin.

Hair
It gets thinner on your head and your face, but only from the nose up.  Your eyebrows and eyelashes slowly disappear.  On the cheeks and chin and the double chin neck flesh we discussed earlier, however, hair grows thicker, quicker, and more wiry.

Pain
You have pain for no discernible reason.  All of a sudden you wake up one day and you sound like a bowl of Rice Krispies snapping, crackling, and popping as you get out of bed.  The pain isn’t necessarily bad, but it is present, and no one can tell you why.

Night Sweats
If you are unfamiliar with night sweats, imagine the following.  You go to bed, and life seems normal.  When you wake up in the middle of the night, however, you are soaked, as if you just stepped out of the shower.  Your hair is wet.  Your night clothes are completely soaked and clinging to you.  Your entire body is dripping.  You find yourself swimming in a small pool of drenched, tangled up sheets.  Your bed is soaked through to the mattress.  And you cannot possibly fathom how or why your body produced so much excess liquid to necessitate a complete wardrobe and sheet change.

Children
Your children literally want you to go crazy.  And they will push you until they see it happen.  I can find no other reasonable explanation.

Self-Image
Despite the changes in your life and in your body, you become more and more comfortable and happy with who you are, and you realize that never would have happened if you hadn’t lived through what you’ve already lived through.  You recognize life is change and you are the better for it.

Clasped hands by skeeze on Pixabay at https://pixabay.com/en/clasped-hands-comfort-hands-people-541849/
Clasped hands by skeeze on Pixabay at https://pixabay.com/en/clasped-hands-comfort-hands-people-541849/

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