My Dad: This outfit would even make a skank look good.
Me: A skank?  Really?
MD: Oh, I’ve seen some skanks.
Me: I’m sure you have.  You’ve seen a lot.  I’m glad I haven’t seen half of what you’ve seen.
MD: I’m glad, too.  I don’t want you to see half of what I’ve seen.

Then there’s a pause in the conversation.

Me: Now this is something I would post on Facebook.  I would put, “Why is my dad talking about skanks?  Make it stop.”

Instead of Facebook, however, I decided to post it here.  There is something, apparently, about the holidays that puts my father in the mood to talk about skanks and pimps.  Last year during this most blessed season we had a conversation about him being a broke 70-year-old pimp, and this year we’re talking about skanks and their wardrobes.

I can’t wait for next year!