Litterbug Conspiracies


Imagine my surprise when I saw you fling open your car door and shake out a blanket full of ice.  After a brief moment, you followed the ice deluge with a huge styrofoam cup, straws (yes, straws plural), and a smattering of napkins.

When the light turned green, you careened into a nearby apartment complex.

At first I was appalled.  I don’t understand littering.  Any place you are going will have a trash receptacle.  I know you would be able to find a trash can, a dumpster, or something in that apartment complex.

Why did you have a blanket full of ice anyway?  The windchill was about 8 F.  What could you possibly be doing that would require you to have that much ice on such a cold day?

My first guess was that you were transporting illicit human organs and had more ice than you needed.  Actually, that was my only guess.

I imagine it went down like this.  You filled up the cooler before collecting the organs, but once you tried to put in your cache, you had too much ice.  So you scooped out ice with your enormous cup, left over from your soda run, into the most handy item you could find – the blanket you keep in your car for emergencies.  You looked down at your seat and realized you had made a mess, so you opened up your glove box and pulled some napkins out of the stash to wipe up the melting ice.  You picked up a few extra straws on your soda run, because you like to chew on them when you’re nervous, and you were plenty nervous, what with hot organs cooling in your car.  Nearing the drop point, you were in a rush to rid yourself of any unnecessarily incriminating evidence, so you tossed out everything but the blanket and cooler once the apartment complex was in sight.

Or maybe I watch too many conspiracy theory shows.

Waiting for the next mystery,


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s