Pew Protocol

Sleepy Church Lady,

I noticed you falling asleep as soon as you started dozing.  You were old, even though the unnatural color of your wig boldly proclaimed otherwise, so I really didn’t think much of it.

Then you started nodding.  That was cool too, until you began leaning.

About every third nod, you got closer to my shoulder.  You had several big dips which put you within inches of landing on me.

I wasn’t sure what to do.  What is the protocol when your pew neighbor falls asleep and might possibly concuss herself on your shoulder?

Do I let you land there and conk yourself awake?  But what if your head really hits home and you conk out instead?

Do I dodge the oncoming missile and hope the seat cushion breaks your fall?

What if your head alights gently on my shoulder?  Do I wake you up or stroke your wig as you sleep peacefully?

Fortunately, your last big dip only slightly disheveled your wig so a few strands grazed my shoulder but was strong enough to jolt you awake for the rest of the service.

Looking forward to what next Sunday brings,

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