We were in the shoe store, and it was a zoo. Well, I’m overstating; it really wasn’t that bad, but it was bad enough that I renewed my appreciation for how well-behaved my children are.
One particular boy was indignant.
Indignant Boy: I can’t believe that I have to do something like that and I’m 6 years old.
Mother of Indignant Boy: Everyone has to do it. It’s not a big deal. I bet everyone in here has done it.
IB: I just don’t understand why I have to have my feet measured.
(It’s too bad the Men in Black weren’t there. That would have been interesting. Then again, I would have had my memory erased, and I wouldn’t have a story to tell. But I digress.)
MIB: That’s what they have to do to make sure you get the right size shoe.
Me: That little girl right there is my daughter. She had her feet measured, and she’s eight.
IB: She’s not eight. She’s five.
The Girl: I am eight. I’ll be nine in June.
IB: She’s not eight.
TG: Yes. I am eight. I’ll be nine in June.
Me: Do you see that little boy sitting over there? He’s my son. He is six, just like you, and he had his feet measured.
IB: He’s six like me? Do you think he knows I’m six?
The Boy (from across the room): Yes. I know you’re six.
IB: How does he know I’m six?
Me: Because he heard you.
IB: He didn’t hear me from way over there.
(Keep in mind that maybe 8 feet separated The Boy and Indignant Boy.)
TB: Yes I did.
IB: Does he have a sister?
Me: Yes. The little girl right here is his sister.
TG: I’m eight. I’ll be nine in June.
TB: That’s my sister right there.
IB: Are you sure he has a sister? She’s not eight.
TG: Yes I am. I’ll be nine in June.
Indignant Boy grew fond of us and decided to share space with us. He situated himself right on top of our stuff. We dislodged The Girl’s shoelace from under his thigh and tried to pretend like he wasn’t there. Our ignorance is bliss campaign didn’t last long, however, because Indignant Boy took a liking to The Husband.
IB: Did you know I’m six?
IB: How did the little boy know I’m six?
TH: Because he heard you. The whole store heard you. You’re very loud.