Costco Sample Lady,
I know it must be mind-numbing to serve dozens, if not scores or hundreds, of tiny samples of chicken alfredo to everyone who walks by your station. I bet the idle chit-chat you drum up is a good way to pass the time. Otherwise, you might drive yourself crazy counting the number of people who reach for a sample immediately after coughing, sneezing, or some other germy activity. Or maybe that’s just me.
My point is that I understand why you struck up a conversation with me, particularly since it was about my kids. I don’t want to brag about how cute they are, but since you brought it up, I feel like it’s OK.
“They’re so cute,” you said.
I smiled and nodded, because my mouth was full of chicken alfredo, but once I swallowed, I chuckled and said thanks.
“Be careful with them,” you said. “I bet they’re gonna be heartbreakers.”
I laughed politely and started to move away.
“You’re gonna need a stick to keep people away from them,” you continued.
I continued to laugh politely and began herding the children away from your station.
“You better be careful you know, in a public place like this. Those kids are so cute and sweet, someone will steal them away from you. I mean it. Those are just the sort of kids somebody would love to snatch. And in a place like this, too, with so many people around. You better keep an eye on them,” you cautioned me.
I thanked you for your concern and hurried the children away from your station. They wanted to try the buttered bread samples that were next to your station, but I moved them along. You can’t be too careful, you know.
Creeped out by Costco,