Oh, Tomato

Scene: Cruising the samples at Costco.

The Girl: What is that?
Me: It looks like tomato soup.
Sample Lady: Organic tomato basil soup.  It’s on rebate today, but the rebate ends tomorrow.
Me: How is it?
SL: Oh it’s good.  Try some.  It’s hot.
Me: Thank you. 
TG: May I try some, Mommy?
Me: It’s tomato soup.  Are you sure?
TG: Yes.  I want to try some.
Me: OK.  You can get some.
SL: It’s very hot.  Be careful.  Here, let me put an extra cup around it.  And some napkins.  It’s so hot.  I don’t want you to get burned.  Be careful.  It’s hot.  Here’s a fork to eat it with.  Blow on it.  It’s hot.  Very hot.  Maybe mom will hold it for you.
 

(Yes, she was giving out forks so we could eat our tomato soup.  Seriously.  They weren’t even sporks; they were straight up forks.  Perhaps having soup slide through the tines of the forks helps it cool down.  The soup was very hot, you know.)

While the Sample Lady was going through all of her heat ministrations, I had finished my soup, because it really wasn’t that hot, but it was good.

TG: Is the soup hot, Mommy?
Me: It’s a bit hot, as it’s soup, but it’s not deathly hot.
TG: Well of course it’s not deathly hot.  You would die if it were deathly hot.  You can’t die from eating soup, not if it’s hot anyway. Maybe you could die if you were allergic to it or there were poison in it.
Me: Sweetie, my point is that the soup is not that hot.  Go ahead and try it.
 

The girl holds the cup with her fingertips, in fear of burning herself, and nearly spills the soup.  Then she watches it slide through the tines of her fork over and over again.

Me: Just put it in your mouth.
TG: But it’s hot.
Me: It’s not that hot.  You could blow on it, if you feel you must.
 

So of course she blows on it, and tomato-y goodness skates across the tines.  I can even see the juice and the oil separate a bit, because oil loves to stick to plastic forks.  She dips the fork into the soup again, because she lost most of the soup with her overkill blow.  This time she doesn’t blow.  Instead, the girl closes her eyes and darts her tongue at the fork.

Me: Just put it in your mouth and eat it.  Goodness.
 

Finally, she eats.

Me: What do you think?  Do you like it?
TG: No.  It’s not good.  Tastes too much like tomato.
Me: It’s tomato soup.
TG: Oh, toMAYto.

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